Day 89: April 5, 2006 7:48 a.m. Church Office

Total miles walked so far: 883

I heard it said by a member of the fairer sex that it is difficult to communicate with men. Now, before we get carried away in a cacophony of amens and Hallelujahs, let me present an opposing view point. Men are not that difficult to communicate with, if you understand the way our minds work. I know even that comes as a surprise to some; that our minds work, but hear me out.

The key to communicating with men is knowing what our passions are. Once you know what we are interested in, then you can communicate with us. I always try to find out what drives a man. Once I know that, it is a piece of cake. For example, if a man is driven by career you have to use a different language. It helps to be current on books and trends. Even though I am not technically ‘in the corporate world’ I can communicate if I know the words to use. Senior adult men are a little easier. If you will invest a little time in the History Channel or Discovery Channel you will have a leg up. What about men who are interested in NASCAR? It is not that difficult. A 200 lap race is 800 left turns. How simple is that.

I visited with a friend yesterday who played football. He did not just play football, he excelled at football. He was a star; even if it was for some team other than burnt orange. He told me of his coaching philosophy. The key to success is getting back up when you have been knocked down. The harder the hit, the quicker you must bounce back. This tenacity provides self confidence and cultivates confidence in others. Good football players know that you will get hit; the issue is how you handle that hit.

I remember my football days. It is not that hard. It is not like I had a ton of memories. I could have had a scrap page instead of a scrap book. But I do remember one day when we were lined up for hitting drills. It was really barbaric. One person lined up on a spot, holding a football. Another man lined up at another spot. You both ran on a straight line to a new spot. You were supposed to time your run in such a way where you would both arrive at the same time. If all went well, there was a huge explosion and body parts flew across the fields and we pubescent boys would scream with delight at the results.

My friend Mark Dickard was not overly ambitious. He told me to line up across from him and we would make it look spectacular, but hopefully we would not kill one another. Someone knowing that your friend would knock the snot [ when communicating with men you have to mix in the occasional graphic terms ] out of you brought comfort.

All was well until we realized that we had not counted correctly. I was not lined up against Mark, I was lined up against Donald Taylor. He was the baddest [ spell check tells me that baddest is a poor choice of words, but remember; this is how we as men communicate. ] guy on the team. We tried to readjust, but the die had been cast. I remember seeing stars when he hit me. It was not at all unlike an episode of Bugs Bunny when the stars flew around your head when you were hit.

Instinctively, I popped up and ran back to the line. My friends cheered. I have successfully navigated one of the rites of passage in young adulthood. I had taken a hit by the biggest, baddest dude on the team and got back up. My coach yelled out, ‘Hogan you will never need to prove your manhood again’. The next day, everyone wanted to line up against Donald. It was a chance at immortality. I didn’t want to line up against him, he hit really hard. The good news is, I didn’t need to line up against him. I had proven myself.

Life is tough. You have to take it one game at a time. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog. ‘Wait ‘till next year’ is a statement for losers. You gotta’ dance with them what brung you.

Ladies….these are eternal truths. Learn these words and you can communicate with men. After all, we are not really that complicated.